Quite recently, my husband, Fred, and I decided to go to the Swiss Chalet on Dalton Avenue in Kingston for their festive special meal.  The parking there makes it easy for anyone using a walker or wheelchair. As Fred’s mobility isn’t good, he uses a four wheel walker to get around when we aren’t at home. On this particular day, however, the accessible button wasn’t working and I had difficulty getting the door open and negotiating with Fred to get inside. A man suddenly appeared on the other side, and deftly manoeuvred the whole operation for us. I presumed he worked at the restaurant and thanked him for his help. He waved away my appreciation and I then watched him go back to a table by the window, through which he had observed our difficulty. When the hostess came, she happened to seat us at an adjoining table and left us with menus. I had a couple more words with the man and his partner, and then we got on with ordering our meal.

Fred and I tucked into the delicious food and, at some point, I realized this couple had gone. No-one was more surprised than I, when our server announced that our meal was paid for by the two of them who wished us to have one on them. Apparently Fred reminded them of her grandfather, and she appreciated how affectionate we were to each other and happy to be out together. This made us both feel really special. We finished our food and it was then I decided to pass this gift onward. I asked our server to look around and find a table where she thought the people would appreciate the gesture as much as we had. She chose an elderly couple on the other side of the restaurant. We hope that they enjoyed the anonymous surprise gift as much as we had ours.

This act of kindness was a wake up call for me. As I write this I realize I am becoming much more observant than I used to be of those whose needs are below the normal radar. So this Advent and Christmas season I urge you to help those who are less fortunate. Every year we all get many charitable organizations asking for donations. There are many good causes, and getting a tax receipt is helpful.  But giving anonymously is also stepping up a notch. Last week I watched a young woman with a small whiny child in a grocery cart carefully figure out that she hadn’t enough to pay for some of the items she had chosen. She was near to tears, but left them to be returned. Many years ago I was that woman. The memory moved me enough that I quietly fished out a $20 and gave it to the cashier saying: “I think this belongs to the woman ahead of me. Perhaps she dropped it while attending to her child?” The cashier eyed me, nodded, and gave the money to the astonished woman who paid for her groceries with some left over. I saw a glimmer of relief and hope come onto her face, and that was the joy that brightened my day.

Every one of us has the opportunity to make a difference. Only God will know if you have succeeded. May God bless you all this Christmas and in the new year to come.

Thanks be to God!

Diana Duncan-Fletcher

dduncanfletcher2@gmail.com

The post The thoughts and attitudes of the heart appeared first on Dialogue.

Perhaps people you counted on disappointed you by their actions or words. Too late you realized that their motives were selfish ones, and your own beliefs were inconsequential to them. Or, something that you had accomplished and were proud about, was played down by someone you genuinely admired. To top it off, he or she was disparaging about a person or place you loved. The sunlight in your day suddenly became dark, and black clouds permeated your world.  Then you felt discouraged and confused and hurt. At best you said nothing for or against them, but your own faith was rocked. I am sure everyone one of us have at some time experienced a similar scenario.

Or, perhaps the tables were turned, and you were that person who created the division?  Eventually you moved on, asked forgiveness, felt accepted, and were hopeful that you had learned something from the experience. I believe that Jesus’ disciple Simon Peter must have felt something similar. Simon Peter played a key part in the ministry of Jesus. He was definitely part of the “in crowd” of the twelve disciples. He believed he had great faith and it showed. He, after all, was the disciple who jumped into the water and started walking toward Jesus—until he suddenly became afraid. You know that story and what happened. He moved on. But near the end of Jesus’ life, in spite of his determined actions and thoughts, he again was caught up in the web of fear. He denied knowing Jesus three times before the cock crowed twice. Fear is like black clouds and a fog which surround one, making us unsure of our actions, and hurting others and ourselves in the process. That happened to Peter, as it has to every one of us at some time. It is our wake up call if only we realize and follow through.

We know Jesus forgave Peter, and Peter learned from Jesus how to keep his faith whole. At Pentecost, as a result, Peter played a huge role in sharing his faith with others. He, and the other disciples, were filled with the Holy Spirit, and reached many people by teaching what they had been taught by Jesus before His resurrection. For example, in Acts Chapter 3, Peter and John amazed many people when they healed a crippled beggar in the name of Jesus of Nazareth. Their spirit-filled ministry continued on, and today ours must also. This Pentecost, may the Holy Spirit show us where we are needed, and how to proceed in Jesus’ holy name.

“Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me.”

– Psalm 51:10

Thanks be to God!

dduncanfletcher2@gmail.com

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I really don’t know how she managed. I am very fortunate to have a loving husband and three grown up children and many friends whose support is ongoing. Every family has to deal with problems, but nothing like this sort of devastating situation. Eventually, as Jesus was hanging on his cross, He gave His mother into the care and nurturing of his disciple John. She became part of that family for the rest of her life. Whether this scenario was ever discussed beforehand to either Mary or John is not known. Mary obviously was nurtured and cared for by John, but I am quite sure this was not an easy time for her, or for that family.

Heard during Christmastime there is a relatively modern carol called: “Mary, Did You Know?”  It was written by in 1984 by Mark Lowery and later the tune was composed by Buddy Greene. The carol asks a variety of questions to Mary. These also make us aware of some of the very important occurrences in Jesus’s life. But there are a few missing links. I have added a few thoughts of my own to those mentioned:

Mary, did you know:
About your son’s triumphant journey through the streets of Jerusalem, while riding on an unbroken colt?
That within a week, Jesus would be spat upon and reviled?
That He would be betrayed by one of his own disciple believers?
That He would be whipped and stripped and made to carry His own cross?
That He would cry out to the Father asking to have this cup taken from him?
That most of His disciples would desert Him in this hour of need?
That only the women would be at His side at the crucifixion?
That throughout this ordeal He accepted and gave thanks?
Mary did you know?

Perhaps you have other lines to add to mine. Jesus gave so much to us. I know that Mary realized He was no ordinary baby. In Luke 2:19 we read: “But Mary treasured all these things and pondered them in her heart.” I am sure that her love for Jesus never failed. But I wonder how she was able to anoint His body with oils and perfumes and not question what his life really meant. Fortunately we have answers. Nevertheless, Mary has given me lots on which to reflect.

Today we give thanks for Jesus’s resurrection at Easter, and the ongoing peace and love He bestowed upon us.

Thanks be to God. Hallelujah and Amen!

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Do you ever have days when nothing goes the way you want it to? Perhaps, before you have your first cup of coffee, something upsets the apple cart and, from that moment onwards, everything goes awry.

One Sunday I recently made it to church in time and sat quietly meditating. l had chosen a spot far enough away from anyone with small children, or people with loud voices. I was able to breathe in and out and leave behind the worries of the previous week. It was a time to look out of the windows and see the trees and beautiful flower gardens nearby, and give thanks. All was well with my world, and I felt blessed.

Then everything changed in a split second. A woman behind me let her cell phone ping repeatedly — and did nothing to change or silence the setting, and, next, a whiny, spoiled child came in with her parents and sat behind me. The little girl was not happy, and kicked her feet over and over again onto the back of my chair. I decided to stand up and move my chair over a bit so she wasn’t directly behind me. Her mother tried placating the child with a candy. That was rejected immediately, as her daughter screamed that she didn’t like that sort of candy. Her loud voice drowned out the pinging of the cell phone, but the temper tantrum went on and on. I had had enough and moved to the other side of the church to find peace. But by then my inner self seethed with indignation and somehow I really wasn’t able to concentrate and participate in the worship service. My head ached, and I became aware of the fact that tears were rolling down my face. “Oh, God, where are you in all this?”

A person I had never seen before suddenly appeared beside me armed with tissues, which she pressed into my hand. She whispered quietly, “You’ll be fine. Just take a big breath and then relax.” She patted my arm and then moved back to her place somewhere behind me. I was surprised, but grateful. I followed her sage advice, then blew my nose and relaxed and got back into the service.

That morning the sermon was based on Mark’s Gospel where Herod, in spite of his own feelings and beliefs, let his own pride get the best of him. He’d let his stepdaughter’s request for John the Baptist’s head on a platter, happen. He did this knowing full well it was wrong. But he had unwisely given his word to her, and he did not want to appear unworthy to her, and to the guests at his birthday celebration. It led me to think of times I had not listened to my own heart and values, and instead, selfishly done something I knew to be wrong. It made me feel ashamed now. I wondered how Herod had coped? Did he write in his journal on papyrus that he’d really messed up that day? I thought also of how his relationship with his wife might have changed due to this action. It must have been a difficult time. Definitely he was having one of those days I described at the beginning of this article. Lots of food for thought.

At the end of the service, I looked for the woman who had been so kind to me. She was nowhere to be found. I asked several people in the row behind me if they knew who she was. No one, it appeared, had even seen her come forward. I got some strange looks. Then I remembered that I had stated somewhat defiantly, “Oh, God, where are you in all this?” Was she actually another of my guardian angels at work when I needed her? I was certainly grateful. The peace of the morning had reappeared, and I was able to rejoice and move on.

Thanks be to God!
dduncanfletcher2@gmail.com

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All that being said, there are times when I feel led by an inner voice to say something. On those occasions, I believe that this is meant to be said. So, when I am prompted to share a thought or observation, I do feel guided by God to respond. Sometimes it is wrong NOT to speak up. The key issue is: When is it right, and when isn’t it?

Every one of us has things in their lives that they wish they could change, or regrets that have coloured their world—the ‘what if’s’ of living that result in negativity. I know it is hard to put them aside and move forward. When we ask for forgiveness and believe God hears our request, we should also feel His love and acceptance. But, sometimes, the mundane things in our lives take over, and priorities are abandoned. It is at these times that I feel the need to escape. I treasure those God-found opportunities. I love peace and quiet. It is bliss to sit quietly and read or write without being interrupted, to listen to birdsongs or music, to hear the sound of gentle rain, or watch soft, fluffy snowflakes. I am sure that is why our cottage is one of my favourite places. There I find tranquility. The troubles in our world, the “rat race” parts of daily living disappear and I feel the deep inner peace absorbing the beauty surrounding me. It is especially in these times that I feel the presence of our Lord as Shepherd.

How about you? Where is your quiet corner where you can be still and hear His voice? Not surprisingly, I also hear His voice when in the company of others who have similar values or beliefs. A phrase or kind word, a gentle smile to encourage someone having a tough day do mean SO much. After all, none of us knows exactly what the story is behind an individual’s life unless they trust you enough to share it. Otherwise it becomes a kind of mask effect, hiding their truth from prying eyes. I have learned not to assume anything. Instead I accept that I am not walking in their moccasins, and keep them in my heartfelt prayers.

I also believe that the 23rd Psalm is balm to the wounded spirit: “The Lord’s my shepherd. I’ll not want. He leads me beside quiet waters. He restores my soul.”

Thanks be to God!

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I had not thought of Colin for years. It goes back to 1988 when I was a single mom and lived in an apartment in Scarborough with my daughter, Jennie. One day when I went to get my mail, I discovered a set of keys on the floor in front of the mailboxes. “Someone will need these today,” I thought. There was no identifying name on the four keys. One, however, had a Jaguar motif on it. I did remember seeing a beautiful Jag parked in one of the parking spots close to the front door. I checked, and, sure enough, it was there. Each parking spot was allotted to a particular apartment. This spot was for #510, and so I went there and knocked on that apartment door. I immediately recognized the man who came to the door. He was in his mid 60’s and his face was quite disfigured by scars from having had small pox as a child in Jamaica. I had often seen him in the lobby, and he always smiled and took time to chat with me. My daughter loved to roller skate, and he admired her dexterity. I knew his name was Colin.

Colin was surprised to see me and I could tell he was not having a good day as he looked quite frazzled. “Hi, can I help you?” he said. “No,” I replied, “but I believe I can help you.” Then I handed him the keys. “Are these yours?”

The relief on the man’s face was obvious. “Oh, thank you, God!” he said. Then he looked at me and said, “I prayed THAT prayer and then you appeared. I am so appreciative of you finding them and returning them to me.” He looked perplexed and added, “Where were they, and how did you know they were mine, and in which apartment I lived?”

I told him I was a female Sherlock Holmes. We both laughed, and then I explained what had occurred. “You must be an angel,” he said. “I manage a Jaguar dealership and drive a variety of models to and from work. But without having a duplicate key, I am doomed if I misplace my keychain. Thank you, thank you, thank you so much!”

Colin kindly gave me a ride to work, as he realized my sleuthing on his behalf would have made me late. When I arrived in that year’s top model Jaguar, which was very sleek and classy, quite a few eyebrows were raised. My ‘stock’ went up in the eyes of the employees of the engineering firm for whom I worked! It was a fun experience to leave them guessing.

Jennie and I saw quite a lot of Colin and his partner before we moved to Kingston. He was a kind and gentle man, full of light and a devout Christian. One day I asked him what the prayer had been that he had prayed just before I returned his keys. “John 14:14, he replied: “You may ask me for anything in my name, and I will do it.” Then he smiled, and added, “And it worked, as you well know.”

So, for Colin, (who would now be close to 100 years, if he is still alive,) and many others, whose lives have touched mine and created great memories, I say gratefully:

Thanks be to God!

dduncanfletcher2@gmail.com

The post Prayer CAN change your life appeared first on Dialogue.

On the following Sunday, some of us went to Holy Trinity Anglican Cathedral for their morning service. I entered this beautiful Cathedral church building filled with numerous stained-glass windows. Images of Jesus, Joseph and Mary, the four Apostles, twelve Disciples and many saints were all illuminated. Most were given in memory, and to honour, long-deceased members—the Saints of this Church Family. Many tourists were traipsing up and down the aisles, their necks craned to enable them to observe these awe-inspiring, colourful windows. They did not care that a worship service was in progress in this sacred space. That disturbed me.

I suddenly wondered what would happen if each window showed a beloved person who had died, and whose life had mattered to them? I thought of a number of now-deceased people who, in my life, had mentored me, or made a real difference—my Saints. Who would be there, I pondered? There are always the obvious family members whose lives influenced us, but others came to mind: Those who were there for me in times of difficulty or mental instability; for support when I had reached rock bottom. They all cared.

I thought with gratitude of these people and then later made a list. Thirty people came to mind. All gave of themselves to others, but especially to me. None would consider themselves ‘saints,’ and none would feel comfortable having a stained-glass window erected to respect them. But I can picture each person being illuminated from a place of honour. I can also give thanks for their love, understanding and compassion to me.

This Advent, I suggest you make your own list of those people who have gone before you, and who deserve a place of honour and your thanksgiving for a life well lived—your ‘saints.’  Perhaps you could make your own Advent Calendar and fill each day with the memory of a person who really counted in your life. A time to give thanks, and to remember their gift of love.

Psalm 105:3(b) – 4, reads: “… let the hearts of those who seek the Lord rejoice. Look to the Lord and his strength; Seek his face always.”

Thanks be to God!

dduncanfletcher2@gmail.com

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Their years in Uganda were just after the Idi Amin regime. They lived in a house riddled with bullet holes which had been completely trashed. They made it liveable. It was a scary time for anyone surviving in the midst of chaos, a life of fear and unrest. One day a child stopped at their gate with a tin cup and asked for some water. They had been warned against letting anyone into their compound, so the request was denied. Almost immediately Lina greatly regretted it. And, just as Peter denied knowing Jesus, and afterwards wept bitterly, (Luke 22: 55-62), she remembered the words that Jesus spoke in Matthew 10:42 – “And if anyone gives even a cup of cold water to one of these little ones because he is my disciple, I tell you the truth, he will certainly not lose his reward.” That biblical passage changed their lives, I believe for the better.

Each one of us has at some time had a lightning bolt experience which created a change in life for the better. In my case, as a single Mom, I felt I had reached rock bottom. I prayed for forgiveness and help to start again. I literally felt a huge load lift off my shoulders. So, in spite of everything, I survived. Now each morning I say a prayer taught to me by the nuns of The Community of the Sisters of the Church at St. Mildred’s College in Toronto in the early 60’s:  

“O Lord I ask you to help me this day
in all I think, and do, and say,
Come into my heart and live in me
that I may live to glorify Thee, both now and in eternity.”

Saying this prayer doesn’t make me perfect—far from it—but each morning I ask to be led to those who need help. I find that often these connections result in my being blessed. Some years ago I remember a chaplain at the Ottawa Civic Hospital telling me that each day when he visited the patients on the Cancer Ward, he was ministered to by them. It humbled him.

Heed the words in Hebrews 13:2(b) “…for by so doing some people have entertained angels without knowing it.”  This is something to seriously consider as you begin your day.

Thanks be to God!

The post Day by day appeared first on Dialogue.

 “This is the day that the Lord hath made; let us rejoice and be glad in it.” 

Psalm 118: 24 KJV.

When I am having a difficult day, it is a reminder; when things are going well, it is a thanksgiving;  when I need courage, it is all encompassing. All in all, it is a blessing.

Every one of us has a hidden list of thoughts and prayers that we keep inside and don’t reveal to our family or close friends. Often it contains names of people we imprint silently on our hearts. Perhaps we have been asked to keep them in our prayers. I will give you three examples (I have changed their names to protect their innocence).

Joy, whose life is upside down right now. Her husband died after a sudden heart attack. Then she discovered she was riddled with Cancer. Her two daughters are devastated and yet cannot look after her needs—neither has the space, time or ability to care for her. One has a child with a severe mental condition which needs full time care; the other’s husband is an abusive alcoholic, but she perseveres in that relationship because she believes in the vows she made on their wedding day. Joy has no income, and cannot afford to remain in her condo. What should she do? Where should she go?

Another scenario is a young man, Hugh, whose father beat him almost into oblivion when he discovered Hugh was in a gay relationship. Hugh was brain damaged in the attack. He spent a month having treatment, but was discharged afterwards to a hostel. That lasted for a week and he left as soon as he could. He is now on the street begging for food. His disfigured face revolts people and he is often hungry. His friends cannot help. His family are not willing, as they are all afraid of his father. What should he do? Where should he go?

Then there is a brother and sister, John and Mary, close in age, who once loved each other. They spent a happy upbringing, but are now barely speaking. This is due to a so-called friend, Alexis, who accused Mary of incest, and spread lies on Twitter about it. When John and Mary retaliated, their lives were further destroyed by Alexis overdosing on Oxycodone. She left a note asking them for forgiveness for creating such havoc. What about them? Where should they go?

These three situations read like a Grade B movie, or melodramatic soap opera. They are not, unfortunately. I am sure in your family or within your circle of friends, you have at least one similar scenario. Often our hands are tied and we cannot do anything to help. But one thing that can be done is to pray. I know people who scoff at that suggestion, but I do believe it works.

In my own life prayer certainly has played a big part. In times of grief or sorrow I do pray. I also use the Biblical verse above. And I also pray and give thanks when my prayer is granted. That happened in all three examples I shared:

Joy moved to another city with daughter number two, who after being beaten one time too many, called 911, and reported her husband’s actions. He was arrested and jailed. She then applied elsewhere for a good job which she got. Then she left her abusive situation to look after her Mom with help from the Cancer Society.

Hugh’s partner, Derrick, got physical and mental help for him with government financial aid. They now live in a halfway house together and are accepted. Hugh’s mother and his sisters visit regularly.

John and Mary eventually reconciled. They now meet once a week to have dinner together. Their lives are now more stable, as each has a partner who cares for them and helps them adjust.

Prayers of thanksgiving definitely are important. Remember the ten lepers — only one came back to give thanks to our Lord. Saying “Thank You” never hurts.

Thanks be to God!

The post It takes courage appeared first on Dialogue.

The above quote is a great one, but hard to accomplish! We all know people we admire who are full of light which radiates into our world. Their charismatic attitude cannot help but draw us to them. It helps our desire to be like them and pass along their motivation. But in my case, at least, my good intentions are there, but are often short lived, which frustrates me. I know my abilities to reach out are part of my human nature, and rather than beating myself up over my shortcomings, I do allow myself to fail. That is the hard part, but I forgive myself, and start over.

During our COVID-19 pandemic, many good friends of ours have died. The fact that we were often unable to be helpful to them or their families due to isolation, was a source of extreme sadness. I wanted to be able to share my faith beliefs with them, but eye contact and a gentle hugs don’t happen over the telephone or online or livestream. In each case I prayed for them, their families, friends, and those who grieved. My father told me that during  World War 2, when members of the Armed Forces died, the worst thing their families had to deal with was not being there to say goodbye and hold them close. This, of course, applies to all wars and conflicts. I feel this pandemic could be considered its own form of hellish combat. Not being with a loved one when they are dying prevents closure and acceptance. I decided that one positive thing I could do to honour each person was to do a random act of kindness to someone else in need. Something you might consider doing too.

Many years ago I was a member of Saint John’s Anglican Church in Port Dalhousie (St. Catharines). One Easter, during a Confirmation Service, the late Suffragan Bishop of the Diocese of Niagara, Clarence Mitchell, preached an excellent sermon to the confirmands. To paraphrase, he said: “True faith is within you. It is yours to share with those who waver and are not convinced that there is a God. Give whatever you can to give them hope and courage to believe. Don’t be wish washy. Place your own faith on the line. We all know what happens if you put one foot into one rowboat, and the other into another. When the boats move you will end up in the water needing to be pulled out. Be firm in which boat you belong.  Decide where you should be and reach out to others to give them what has been given to you. Do what you can, and don’t be discouraged if they at first reject your ideas. One day they may remember that conversation and it will make a difference in their lives.” When Bishop Mitchell died in December 2019, he was remembered fondly for his honourable, quiet, gentle way, and his great sense of humour. He touched many peoples’ lives, and I was one of them.

Thanks be to God!

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