Oh God, where are you in all this?

“Herod feared John and protected him, knowing him to be a righteous and holy man.” – Mark 6:20

Do you ever have days when nothing goes the way you want it to? Perhaps, before you have your first cup of coffee, something upsets the apple cart and, from that moment onwards, everything goes awry.

One Sunday I recently made it to church in time and sat quietly meditating. l had chosen a spot far enough away from anyone with small children, or people with loud voices. I was able to breathe in and out and leave behind the worries of the previous week. It was a time to look out of the windows and see the trees and beautiful flower gardens nearby, and give thanks. All was well with my world, and I felt blessed.

Then everything changed in a split second. A woman behind me let her cell phone ping repeatedly — and did nothing to change or silence the setting, and, next, a whiny, spoiled child came in with her parents and sat behind me. The little girl was not happy, and kicked her feet over and over again onto the back of my chair. I decided to stand up and move my chair over a bit so she wasn’t directly behind me. Her mother tried placating the child with a candy. That was rejected immediately, as her daughter screamed that she didn’t like that sort of candy. Her loud voice drowned out the pinging of the cell phone, but the temper tantrum went on and on. I had had enough and moved to the other side of the church to find peace. But by then my inner self seethed with indignation and somehow I really wasn’t able to concentrate and participate in the worship service. My head ached, and I became aware of the fact that tears were rolling down my face. “Oh, God, where are you in all this?”

A person I had never seen before suddenly appeared beside me armed with tissues, which she pressed into my hand. She whispered quietly, “You’ll be fine. Just take a big breath and then relax.” She patted my arm and then moved back to her place somewhere behind me. I was surprised, but grateful. I followed her sage advice, then blew my nose and relaxed and got back into the service.

That morning the sermon was based on Mark’s Gospel where Herod, in spite of his own feelings and beliefs, let his own pride get the best of him. He’d let his stepdaughter’s request for John the Baptist’s head on a platter, happen. He did this knowing full well it was wrong. But he had unwisely given his word to her, and he did not want to appear unworthy to her, and to the guests at his birthday celebration. It led me to think of times I had not listened to my own heart and values, and instead, selfishly done something I knew to be wrong. It made me feel ashamed now. I wondered how Herod had coped? Did he write in his journal on papyrus that he’d really messed up that day? I thought also of how his relationship with his wife might have changed due to this action. It must have been a difficult time. Definitely he was having one of those days I described at the beginning of this article. Lots of food for thought.

At the end of the service, I looked for the woman who had been so kind to me. She was nowhere to be found. I asked several people in the row behind me if they knew who she was. No one, it appeared, had even seen her come forward. I got some strange looks. Then I remembered that I had stated somewhat defiantly, “Oh, God, where are you in all this?” Was she actually another of my guardian angels at work when I needed her? I was certainly grateful. The peace of the morning had reappeared, and I was able to rejoice and move on.

Thanks be to God!
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